Appt is set....

What I thought would take forever to get into the specialist actually has left me surprised. They were able to get me in September 10th. Which is about 3 weeks from when I called. I am both relieved  and nervous for this appointment. Its sort of like the end of the line, whatever is determined there is my fate. I will have to have treatment forever for MTHFR clotting disorder, and a special treatment while we are trying for our baby. From what I have researched, and learned from my great girls at the Bump, You usually are prescribed levenox injections. That is not appealing to me, ha, I am not sure that it would be appealing to anyone. But if that is what it takes to have our take home baby, its such a small order. I'm ready to do anything....

Some days I still feel myself sink back down into the "why me" phase. Most days I am strong (at least on the outside). Being a mother is my dream and it continues to come with struggles, and be pushed yet further and further away. I have been researching adoption and foster parenting more lately. I have a strong will to help these children who do not have a family of their own, my heart has enough love for whomever god grants us the presence of having in our home. I know one day I will be a earth Mommy, and I am learning that it does not take a biological child to make you that. Loving and nurturing a child comes easy to me, bringing a baby into this world has not. But I will not give up, I will not be defeated, at least not yet...