Monday, June 11, 2012

Scary weekend to say the least

Ok, I was MIA this week/weekend, but with good reason... Heres how it went

Monday June 4th: I went to a birthday celebration at a friends. During one of my frequent trips to the potty I notice spotting. Well not actually notice, I mean, I do still check and inspect the toilet paper EVERY single time I use the bathroom. I freaked out, but held it together because of where I was. It was brown, and from what Ive read and heard from my doc, Brown is ok.
This persists all week till Friday when finally its pretty much gone.

Sat: I wake at 11:00am to find blood, everywhere! Ok, well, not really everywhere, but all over my cute undies. I freak out again, start shaking and walk into our bedroom to tell my hubby. "I think we are having a miscarriage" then, I lost it. I start sobbing, hyperventilating, crying, gasping, everything. The whole nine yards.  I was sure it was over.
I tell my husband to call my RE's office. But ofcourse since its sat, the office is closed for calling. I quickly remembered that I had my RE's cell number because of a gallbladder attack that landed me in the hospital just a few weeks before. My hubby calls his cell. " If the bleeding gets worse or she starts cramping go to the er. If not, just come in at 7 tomorrow"

Ok, I try to compose myself, but lack the ability to even function. I go to my bedroom and sob. I cried and cried and cried. I couldnt believe this was happening again. Why me, why do I have to lose so many babies?

Throughout the day I never left the bed except to use the bathroom. I layed on my left side to help with the bleeding, holding on to any hope that I had left.

By midnight, the bleeding was just spotting and starting to turn brown. By morning, just brown spotting.

We go to the ultrasound and the tech tells the nurse there is nothing big enough to measure. WHAT? Thats impossible, Im 5w4d, there has to be SOMETHING there! No answers, and the nurse says that the doctor will call us in the afternoon.

Hours went by and finally the nurse calls back. She says " Dr. wants you to come back tomorrow for another ultrasound, he doesnt understand what the tech was doing and there is no way that the information she gave was correct.

This brings us to today.
amazing news: Ultrasound was done by the doctor and everything measured exactly right! 5w5d CRL and the tiniest heart beginning to beat!

sad news: the bleeding was likely caused by a lost twin. Going into IVF I wish for 1 healthy perfect little baby. I am elated to know that as of today I have that perfect baby, however, my heart does hurt knowing that 1 of my babies didnt make it, But i have to be strong and happy that I have a baby growing!


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