not alone.

Being alone is a feeling that I am pretty sure everyone with infertility feels like they are going through. I often still feel alone, but not alone physically or emotionally, its a different alone. Alone like im the only one who wants something so bad and cant have it. Throughout the last few months I have begun talking to an old friend, who unfortunately is going through the same thing. Her friendship and kind words can get me through even the toughest days. I love our conversations on facebook and know that I can tell her anything about infertility and my feelings and she understands, truly understands, not just telling me she understands. I love this. And I am so thankful that god has brought someone into my life that makes me feel a little less alone.

Today she sent me a message on facebook of a song that she wanted to share. Its funny, I have never told her of this blog, so she wouldnt know that I like to relate songs to life. But this one is touching, emotional, raw, and so heartfelt that I just knew that it would be this weeks song. Beware, its a tear jerker....

Happy Wednesday! Hope you all enjoy the rest of the week. By the way, I go next tuesday to a screening appointment to get into a study for people with infertility. I am praying I get in, It offers 4 IUI's. And financially this would really help us since we would have this amazing opportunity with no cost to us. Please keep me in your prayers!

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo 

Wednesday already?

So apparently I missed monday's post. LOL. Ill touch on that later... Today, im thankful today. Im glad the weekend is over, im glad to be back home and on the same schedule. The weekend was rough. A planned vacation turned out to be more work on my behalf. Work to stay calm, emotionless, and keep my heart out of it. It was hard to say the least. We ended up coming home early, it was what was best for us. We needed to get ourselves out of a situation that was breaking our hearts.

Other than that, I had a great BBQ with another friend who is sort of going through infertility as well. We can joke about being the infertiles and have a good time wallowing in sorrow. HaHa.

So, my monday song... A few days late but better late than never...
But before I go onto todays song, I totally didnt explain why I chose the last one. Even thought its pretty self explanatory, I will relate it to my life. I find that relating songs to my life sometimes makes it easier to see that its normal. I dunno, I could just be weird.
The climb: Well, for starters, this is a climb, infertility is a huge climb. I used to pitty everyday that I was and am not pregnant, now I have learned through many great people that the climb and struggle are just as important as the gift in the end. What scares me most is that I will always be in the climb. But, I cant think that way, I have to think that there is some sort of positive outcome.... So, enjoy the climb, learn something along the way, and never take today for granted.

Mondays song: I chose is by Josh Groban Called You raise me up... I chose this song today because even though I don't want to believe that god has sent me on this terrible journey, I know there is a reason. A reason that I may never know, and I need to rely on God to show me the way.



When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.